14 Comments
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Chris Grabow's avatar

Dearest Gayle, this was so touching to read. I feel your fear and I’m afraid I have nothing to offer except just be and bit by bit you will know what to do. Sending love and joyful strength. XO

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Gayle Kirschenbaum's avatar

Thank you, Chris! ❤️

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AJoy's avatar

Beautiful Gayle. I feel you so much. I too helped my mother in her senior years only we were not close. She was so haunted by her own mothers abuse she could not let it go and be happy. When my father passed I asked and wanted her to move closer to me and the grandkids but she refused. I did my best to make her happy but it wasn’t good enough and I got myself sick over it while I worked full time and had a family to raise. I went into adrenal fatigue. I couldn’t sleep even though I was stressed and exhausted from trying to help my mother. When she got injured I left my job on a medical leave to help her full time and my sister tried to help from a distance. We are not close and she had many issues with my mother. Please have your brother involved in your mothers care and do not become co-dependent. It is not healthy for you. You are not responsible for your mothers happiness. You have done so much and should be proud. You are an amazing loving soul and wonderful

daughter. Get as much help as you can, you can’t nor should do it all alone.

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DanaNYC's avatar

Don’t overthink it and don’t think too far ahead. One day at a time. You have nothing to fear. You have had so many great years with her that will stay with you forever. She will always be with you. Truly. Enjoy! Would love to join you two for happy hour one day!

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Gayle Kirschenbaum's avatar

Where do you live?

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

I've been following you in general here and there for some time. I didn't realize you were here too. I'm also caring for my Mom, albeit slightly different circumstances. Mine is 95 with dementia. I too counted on her "leaving" by a certain age, but after living with her for the last seven years, I can't imagine living without her. Just piping in to say I get it. I'm with you. I'm listening (and I loved the film, which I think I saw before it aired on Netflix, is that possible? I think online maybe while it was still a work in progress?). NRN

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Gayle Kirschenbaum's avatar

Thanks, Jodi! It must be so tough to care for your mom with dementia. I am so grateful my mother still has her marbles as she proudly says. The film I made with her about my journey to forgive her, LOOK AT US NOW, MOTHER! played in film festivals, then theaters and then onto Netflix, Prime and elsewhere. Perhaps you saw it at one of those venues. Today, it's available at this link on Gumroad.

https://gayle.gumroad.com/l/launm

I'm with you, too. xo

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Kathy MacKay's avatar

Thinking of you, Gayle.

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Arielle Ford's avatar

Sending you a big, warm hug. You are doing it all right with such love and care. Enjoy each moment and trust divine timing.

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Gayle Kirschenbaum's avatar

Thank you 🙏❤️

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Cora Schenberg's avatar

Just sending love, my dear friend.

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Gayle Kirschenbaum's avatar

Thank you, sweet Cora!

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Susan Silverberg's avatar

My husband died on March 2 2025 of lung cancer. I took care of him in our home for 6 months. Those were the best days full of the deepest love for each other. The loss is immeasurable now. Just cherish every day you still have her! 💞

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Sanobar Sabah's avatar

I was just mentioning you and your mother to my close writer friends this afternoon and here you dropped your essay! Sending you prayers and warm hugs...your keen reader.

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