5 Secrets to a Long Life I Learned from My 101-Year Old Mother

What I discovered went far beyond health tips.

(This was originally published at The Ethel (AARP)

As I sit down to write this at 7 a.m., my 101-year-old mother is lying on her bed, absorbed in a game of bridge on her iPad. With her iPhone on one side and Dell laptop on the other, she’s rarely disconnected. If she’s not strategizing her bridge game, she’s challenging people on Words with Friends or playing Numfeud. The days of her watching TV for the news are long gone as she now gets current updates on her phone.

Mom is slowing down. After a fall a few months ago, she now feels more stable using a walker. More recently, she battled the flu, which has left her feeling weaker. But if there’s one thing she has always preached, it’s to listen to your body. She knows when to push through and when to rest. If her body tells her she needs a nap, she takes it. If she needs a day to regain strength, she doesn’t fight it.

Yet, even as she adapts to these changes, she refuses to let them diminish her independence or enthusiasm for life. Whether it’s heading to the clubhouse to play cards or navigating her home with her walker, she exemplifies resilience and adaptability. She never lets obstacles keep her from doing what she loves and always finds a way to adjust and thrive.

Here are the five essential lessons I’ve learned from this former travel agency owner, world traveler, icon, influencer and centenarian author:

A selfie I shot of us

1. Let it Go and Move On

Mom has always been a master of staying calm despite life’s little frustrations. When things happen that we can’t control, her motto is simple: let them go. Missed the train? There’ll be another. Stuck in traffic? Take a deep breath. Running late? Reschedule if you can. This “let it go and move on” mindset has rubbed off on me over the years. I’m grateful to have witnessed her calmness, and I try to channel it myself. I see friends stressed over things they can’t control, filled with anxiety. My mom’s approach has constantly reminded me that peace often lies in surrendering to life’s unpredictability.

2. Manage Money: How to Survive on Little

Born during the Great Depression, my mother learned to stretch every dollar early on. Growing up, I knew we weren’t wealthy, but somehow, we looked it. She was resourceful in creative ways, reusing containers and fixing things to last. We often went out to eat, but she never let us order soda. To this day, my favorite drink is water with lemon, which costs nothing.

In the 1950s and 1960s, when banks offered gifts instead of interest, she collected TVs and pots and pans. My first bicycle came from her collection of S&H Green Stamps. She has an eye for style and would scour antique shops for treasures, like the eight-foot French gilded Baroque mirror she once found, tied to the car's roof and refinished herself. Our house looked like a museum, all because of her keen sense for a bargain and her hands-on approach to making things beautiful.

3. Be Independent: Fix-It and Make it Yourself

Independence is essential to my mom; she showed me early on that self-reliance is power. She didn’t explicitly teach me to be handy — I learned it just by watching her. I remember calling her one day, when she was well in her 80s, and she answered, “Oh, Gayle, I was just outside fixing a light. I told your father he won’t know whether to replace me with a man or a woman!” She was right — Mom did all the handiwork, while Dad handled the ironing and vacuuming.

Whenever a repairman came, Mom would watch his every move. The next time it broke, she fixed it herself.

My favorite gift from her was a powered screwdriver set. When my large sliding doors fell off the track, I removed my ladder, assessed the issue and fixed it myself. Her lesson? If you can do it yourself, why wait?

4. Live Life Fearlessly

Mom has always taken the scenic route — literally and figuratively. She raised me to explore, try new things and approach life as an adventure. When I was a child, we’d take road trips, often exploring the lesser-known paths. Later, when she was nearing 90, she and I traveled to India for two consecutive years, covering much of the country together. Nothing fazed her — whether it was riding an elephant, getting henna on her hand or letting fish nibble on her feet in a spa tank. Mom has never been afraid to try new experiences, and she’s shown me that adventure keeps life vibrant.

No matter where we were in the world — be it Jordan or Ushuaia, the southernmost city in the world — if she woke up feeling unwell, she’d somehow make it through the day, keeping up her zest for life. Her fearless approach has been a constant reminder to embrace life, whatever it brings.

5. Limit Pharmaceuticals

Though she isn’t against prescription drugs, Mom is cautious about them. If a doctor recommends something, like statins for cholesterol, she’ll ask if she can first try adjusting her diet — and she’s managed to lower her cholesterol through food alone. She believes that many people end up on too many medications because they’re hesitant to question doctors, resulting in a cascade of pills and side effects.

Her approach has always been to know your body. She’ll take prescriptions, like an antibiotic for a UTI, but only when needed. Her gynecologist once commented that she looks healthier inside than some of his 40-year-old patients — a testament to her natural approach to health.

My mother’s view is that staying active, eating well and listening to her body have been key factors in her longevity and energy.

These lessons from my mother have been guiding lights. Her resilience, independence and adventurous spirit have shaped my perspective on life. Every day, I feel grateful for her positivity, a gift I’ll carry forward and cherish always.

(Photo by Tina Buckman)

If you found value in this story, you’ll love our book, Mildred’s Mindset: Wisdom from a Woman Centenarian—a heartfelt collection of life lessons, longevity tips, and no-nonsense advice from my 101-year-old mother, Mildred. As she and I became social media influencers, our videos about aging, resilience, and living with purpose went viral. Fans began asking for her book—so we created it. And it’s been a hit ever since.

Available now on Amazon in all formats—including large print and Audible (where fans adore her unmistakable Brooklyn accent)—the book has become a favorite gift and bedside companion. As one Amazon reviewer wrote:

“A gem of a book. I laughed, cried, and highlighted nearly every page. Mildred is a national treasure.”

You can also order a personalized, autographed copy directly from us on our website at this link.

Gayle Kirschenbaum is an Emmy-winning filmmaker, photographer, writer, coach, and speaker. Her film LOOK AT US NOW, MOTHER! premiered on Netflix and has been credited with transforming lives. Her TED talk is “No More Drama with Mama.” Gayle co-authored Mildred's Mindset: Wisdom from a Woman Centenarian with her mother, centenarian influencer Mildred Kirschenbaum. Gayle's upcoming memoir is Bullied to Besties: A Daughter's Journey to Forgiveness.
To learn more visit GayleKirschenbaum.com.

Follow Gayle & Mildred on Instagram and TikTok @glkirschenbaum